Don't Feel Guilty...Feel Pleased

What is a guilty pleasure?  Of course, I understand the definition per Webster and I do love a good oxymoron, but I cannot comprehend the guilt in the pleasure.  Think about it, if you partake in something that makes you feel delight, why should you feel badly?  Moreover, if you do feel downtrodden about what you have done, then can you really say that the thing is amazing or pleasurable in the first place?  I don’t know about you, but the amazements in my life are certainly not things that cause me remorse.  For instance, I find it very gratifying to stuff myself with a plethora of Taco Bell bean burritos while watching reruns of Family Ties.  Now some may say I should be embarrassed because I enjoy the exceptional taste of warm tortillas with cheesy goodness inside, or some may say I should be ashamed that I find sitcoms from the 80’s refreshingly simple and entertaining.  However, I feel very pleased with my fast food indulgences and television show preferences.  Therefore, I think the phrase guilty pleasure should be changed to glad pleasure or gladly pleasured… for those on the freaky side.  The next time you tell someone in secret about some trashy television show you watch or some funky thing you do, don’t whisper…shout it out and say, you are glad for your pleasure!     

Word Up...Peace Out--Susan

Light Up The Shade

All women have unique and multifaceted personalities, and we have the capacity to use those traits for good, evil or to be just plan annoying.  I try very hard to be respectable, but I have found that even when I am being the best me I can be, other women still get persnickety with me.  Apparently, the new “term” for this is “throwing shade.”  When someone else is in the spotlight or does something well, and another woman cannot handle it, for whatever reason, she “throws shade” on the other in an effort to minimize the sunlight that is shinning on someone other than her.   However, some cannot stand to have others good deeds highlighted that when they try to throw the shade they end up chucking pitch-black midnight at others!  It is pure insecurity.  I used to feel sorry for women who lacked self-confidence…but I am uninviting myself to that pity party.  Being a grown woman of 30 plus years, I find it terribly maddening when other grown or overgrown women have to act their shoe size and not their age. 

This harkens back to my post “Don’t Hate Celebrate.”  Almost every day, I feel the breeze of icy female disdain, because many women have been programmed to hate and not celebrate.  We have to switch the channel and change this archetype.  For some women who are utterly contemptuous at not being the star of the moment, I am sure “throwing shade” is progress for them.  Congratulations…keep on truckin’.  The bottom line is this: someone can only put you in darkness if you allow it to happen, so let the candles of genuineness and genius inside you burn so bright that others will have to wear sunglasses to look at you.

Word up…Peace Out---Susan

Set Your Inner Child Free!

As I took a shower this morning, I found my mind relaxed and wandering off.  As my brain rambled, my thoughts became stuck on one thing...something I used to do as a child.  I held the shampoo bottle as it if was an Oscar and gave my acceptance speech.  I found it very gratifying accepting the award for best actress and best score of which I wrote and sang.  I of course made sure I thanked the Academy and all of the industry people who brought me to that moment.  I gave a nod to my husband and God.  It felt so good playing in my childhood imaginary world that I allowed myself to win an Emmy, Grammy and Tony as well.  Each acceptance speech was more stunning than the last.  To top it off, I made sure I was on the best-dressed list at each ceremony…Joan Rivers had nothing on me!  It was the best shower I have ever had.  I think I will make that my new tradition on Sundays…act like a child for 10 minutes.  Maybe next week I will use the bar of soap to give my imaginary friend a call…the last time we talked she was living next door to Big Bird and on her way to a vacation at Fraggle Rock. She and I have a lot of catching up to do!

Word up, Peace out--Susan

Angels Help Us in Strange Ways

So...I noticed that my mother-in-law had a few scratch off lottery tickets that she had not "done" yet.  Being that I am considering petitioning the Olympic committee to add speed scratching lotto tickets to their esteemed athletic roster, I was anxious to have her rub the silver crayon type coated cards.  She won a few dollars and I was ecstatic!  So much so that in our travels today, I made my husband stop at a gas station so that I could buy a few myself…for some of us winning the lottery is the only chance at retirement we may have.  So I scratched and I won $2!  Whoo hoo!  I was over the moon!  Then I scoured off the varnish on the next ticket and holy mother of pearl I won again!  This time I hit the jackpot...I won $100!  I felt like Charlie finding the last golden ticket!  I could not believe my eyes and my husband certainly did not believe me until I cashed it and flashed the cash.  I felt so lucky.  Then, I realized luck had nothing to do with it.  I rarely wear an opal ring that belonged to my Grandmother.  Not because I don't love the ring, but it only fits on my pinky finger and I am so afraid I will damage it or it will fall off.  But today I was compelled to wear the ring, and I believe that my winnings were a small reminder to me that she is always with me and watching over me whether I'm wearing the jewelry or not.  I am at peace knowing that I am watched over and protected by my Grandmother, a true Superwoman that I hope I can emulate. 



Word Up...Peace Out--Susan

Don't Hate....Celebrate

Strong women need to support each other.  But how do you know if you are tough enough to do that?  Ask yourself this question: when another woman gets something I want, what do I do about it?  Some of you may say that you would congratulate her for her achievement.  Some of you might say that you would not congratulate her because your jealousy is too overwhelming to do so.  Then there are the few that will congratulate the woman, but then do everything you can behind her back to diminish her prize.  What is your answer?  Depending at what time of my life this question was asked of me, I would have picked each of the options at one point or another.  Then I grew up.  I began to understand not only the meaning of self-confidence, but also how to employ it in my heart and soul.  I learned that pride is a good thing...and I am the only one that controls that pride.  So now, who I am today, I celebrate the win with and for the person.  I know I am not a hero and cannot win every trophy possible, but my self-esteem is not wrapped in accolades, so when I do not get one, my spirit remains intact.  I’m not Superwoman…I’m just trying to look like her.

Word Up...Peace Out--Susan

Got the Bird...Don't Fly Off the Handle

Do you ever feel like the world is flipping you off?  Such as, you are driving and someone cuts you off then has the nerve to go at least 10 miles under the speed limit while in front of you.  Perhaps you are headed to the checkout line at a store, and find the one line with only one person in it, then think, "Yes, I am awesome to find this short line that no one else has seen."  Then you realize that everyone else did see the line and noticed that it is not a short line because the cashier is speedy, but because the checker is taking her time inspecting and commenting on the items on the conveyor belt.  Perchance you have had a desire for an onion bagel with vegetable cream cheese and when you go to the drive through you are advised the toaster has been turned off 2 hours before closing time.  Then the next time you get the craving you go back and the toaster still has not been turned on...one week later...this time in the morning.  

In each of these situations, I wonder what Superwoman would do.  Well, for the inconsiderate driver she would be happy she was cut off since she is a skilled driver and would not bring an accident upon the slow poke.  For the cashier, she would be happy to have a moment to have a conversation with someone about nothing of importance like produce and cosmetics.  And the bagel, she would be grateful that the toaster was unavailable for use, as she knows she does not need the extra calories anyway.  Those are not quite the responses I would have.  I would remind myself that God watches over children and fools and would take peace knowing the idiot driver would be twice blessed.  The cashier, I too would hold a conversation about the air freshener or cheese that I am buying, because if I do not speak of my acquisitions I would be telling her to "stop manhandling my goods and pack ‘um wind bag!"  Lastly, I did experience the bagel flip off...literally.  The first time that I was told the toaster was off, I accepted it since I was at the store late and I drove away.  The second time I asked if the on switch could be pressed since it apparently has not been in a week’s time.  The response, "No.  Would you like to try a flat bread sandwich?"  To which I again drove off. 

Though my actions or thoughts would not be perfect, the outcome would be the same:  No car accident on the way to the grocery store; where no cashier was insulted in the line of duty, and Dunkin' Donuts saved on their electric bill.  I'm not Superwoman...I'm just trying to look like her.

 Word up...Peace Out--Susan 

Resting in Peace

Death and dying...never an easy topic to discuss, but why?  I have realized that since a family friend just passed to the ever after how death can be a gift.  When someone’s ailments would cause them to suffer and not have any kind of quality of life, the greatest relief is when God calls that person home.  My faith tells me that our loved one will not be alone when the calling comes.  I believe an Angel is there reaching out a hand to guide our loved one to see our Father.  How can that be a bad?  To know that when it is time we will all get to see the face of our Creator and feel the warmth of His embrace.  That is the moment when we will know true peace.  So for our friend, I am not shedding tears of sorrow...they are tears of joy that he is relieved...he is free...he is home.  Dance your jig dear Boyd...dance away! 

--Susan

When You Don't Feel Well...Pretend You Do

So...I had a Hysterectomy.  Whoopee!  I told my OBGYN the "lady" problems I was having, what I wanted to do about it, and after 5 minutes of conversation I was scheduled for the surgery.  The surgery was simple: 3 holes in my abdomen/pelvis area, a little CO2 in the abdominal cavity, some manipulation of  funky tools and poof...uterus gone!  Then an easy recuperation.  Physical recovery about 2 weeks...emotional recovery...well that was never discussed.  I was the one who wanted to get the useless, painful organ ripped from my body asap, so what's my problem?  Hormones I thought.  Nothing a little increase in the Prozac won't help, but it didn't do the trick.  Add in a little more caffeine and that will keep me chemically energized.  It did, but after my work day ended the feelings came back.  "Crap" I said, "now I have to actually face these emotions and deal with them."  Since I'm not Superwoman I can't just get over the sense of loss and feelings of needing to cry a river for no real cause.  Therefore, I'm going to fake it 'til I make it so to speak.  I shed my tears, freaked out and now I'm ready to sell my stock in Kleenex and keep a smile on my face.  Even when I want to bawl like a baby because I'm one body part light...I'm going to smile instead!  I'm not Superwoman....I'll just look like her.  


Word up...Peace Out--Susan