Dispassion is the Fashion

My definition of manners is quite simple.  In fact, it falls right in line with the Golden Rule, “do unto others as you’d have done to you.”  Be kind to others and they will be kind to you.  It is a simple theory with the core revolving around basic manners.  Again, it is simple…right?  Well, it used to be.  Nowadays the Golden Rule seems like such a foreign concept that I wonder if humanity and consideration really ever existed or are they illusions from a time long passed.  Despite this, I will not change my values, nor will I lower myself to be like those who have none.  I have come to be unsurprised by disrespect, as it seems en vogue these days.  Dispassion is the fashion.  It is painful to know that the protocol for etiquette is to be self-centered and rude.  Instead of people saying, “Please may I,” it is now a demand of what is wanted minus the please.  Moreover, do not even think about hearing “thank you” as I am convinced that those words might turn someone’s tongue to dust if they even mutter one syllable.  It can drive you insane if you think about it.  I keep wondering how people can survive being so self-absorbed and obnoxious.  In fact, I truly feel sorry for those who conduct themselves so sophomorically, as they will never know true generosity and gratitude.  I even pray that they will see the light and realize “you can catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”  I hope God hears my prayers.  I also hope he gives me the strength to keep my feet on the ground, so I do not lift one of them to kick some asses!   I’m not Superwoman…I just look like her!

Word up...Peace Out

Tips for the Doctor

I have noticed that some patients are unaware of the proper exam room etiquette while at his or her Doctor’s office.  I have compiled a list of tips to help some out there be more graceful, shall we say, while at their examinations.

Weight:  You are not the only one who dreads being weighed at the doctor’s office.  It sucks, but trying to weigh yourself and not letting your Nurse do it will not make it better.  So don’t do it!  Let your Nurse weigh you.  In addition, you can tell your Nurse to subtract as many pounds as you want from your weight for clothes, shoes, the lunch you just ate, etc. but it will not be done.  However, if it makes you feel better to announce your deductions go right ahead.  One more thing, no scale will ever give you the weight you want, so nice try on blaming the calibration of the scale.

Blood Pressure:  Good blood pressure is 120/80, optimal is 110/70.  First, any Nurse worth her salt will not tell you your blood pressure unless it is the blood pressure obtained…he or she does not just arbitrarily shout out numbers because it’s amusing.  Second, it makes no sense to argue with your Nurse by stating your blood pressure is never as low as the number they have gotten especially when the value was in the ideal range…why would you be upset with normal blood pressure?  Moreover, it is absurd to say your blood pressure is high when it is in optimal range…it’s optimal range...can’t get much better than that!  

Problems:  It is fine to bring a list of issues you would like to discuss with you to your appointment…a list…not a novella of every ache, pain and odd-looking poop you have ever passed.  You and I both know how irritating it is to wait, wait and wait to be seen for your appointment.  This can be minimized by people not saying “oh by the way, one more thing doctor” and having the one more thing turn into a vomit of  medical problems.

Medications:  Know your medications.  Saying that you are taking everything the doctor prescribed is not an answer when asked what medications you’re taking.  9 times out of 10, you are not taking some of the medications on your chart.  Do not get mad at the Nurse for going over them one by one, and don’t get angry when he or she has no idea the name or dose of the little blue pill that you take in the morning.  Little tip, if you say you take a medication everyday it means you take it daily not when you remember it.  If you say you take a drug as needed, it doesn’t mean you take it once a year if you have it in your house.  Also, it is not considered an allergy to a medication if you say you just won’t take it because you’ve heard it’s bad, or because your friend took it and she got a rash, so you think you’ll get one too if you take the medication. 

Body Care:  When seeing your Doctor know you will be coming in close contact with people, and assume you are going to have every orifice checked.  Strange sounding I know, but if you wash all areas, trim things and shave parts ladies won’t have to make excuses for the bushes growing on their legs and men won’t have to explain why their toe nails look like eagle talons.

 In summary:  Do not speak to your Nurse unless spoken to; do not say stupid things; and groom yourself.  I hope you have found my tips helpful in a graceful sort of way!

Don't Feel Guilty...Feel Pleased

What is a guilty pleasure?  Of course, I understand the definition per Webster and I do love a good oxymoron, but I cannot comprehend the guilt in the pleasure.  Think about it, if you partake in something that makes you feel delight, why should you feel badly?  Moreover, if you do feel downtrodden about what you have done, then can you really say that the thing is amazing or pleasurable in the first place?  I don’t know about you, but the amazements in my life are certainly not things that cause me remorse.  For instance, I find it very gratifying to stuff myself with a plethora of Taco Bell bean burritos while watching reruns of Family Ties.  Now some may say I should be embarrassed because I enjoy the exceptional taste of warm tortillas with cheesy goodness inside, or some may say I should be ashamed that I find sitcoms from the 80’s refreshingly simple and entertaining.  However, I feel very pleased with my fast food indulgences and television show preferences.  Therefore, I think the phrase guilty pleasure should be changed to glad pleasure or gladly pleasured… for those on the freaky side.  The next time you tell someone in secret about some trashy television show you watch or some funky thing you do, don’t whisper…shout it out and say, you are glad for your pleasure!     

Word Up...Peace Out--Susan